“It don’t matter if it’s black or white…” – Michael Jackson

If you’re like me, you just read that headline and are now slightly bee-bopping (perhaps even mouthing the words out loud) to this classic early 90’s MJ classic.

You’re welcome.

This blog post of course does not refer to the song, it refers to the phone…the one pictured on the left.  Please allow me to introduce my new window to the world – technologically speaking anyways.  I’m back on the grid!  Yes, we finally found a wireless plan that works for us and won’t give us the urge to shoot ourselves in the face every time we get the bill….thanks Frank (Marquez) at Verizon.  Even with no US credit, Frank got me approved with no deposit required and set me up with a shiny new WHITE iPhone4s – a complete contrast (literally) to my previous (black) iPhone4, which is for now a glorified music and gaming machine….until we sell it or trade it in for credit.

Poor Siri has never been busier, what with the selection of mundane questions I have been asking her…

“Siri, who let the dogs out?”

Answer: “Who, who, who, who, who…”

“Siri, sing me a song”

Answer: “You wouldn’t like it…”

“Siri, who’s on first?”

Answer: “Correct.  Who is on first.”

“Beam me up Scotty!”

Answer: ”Can you move a bit to your left?  Ok, standy-by…”

“Siri, why am I here?”

Answer: “I don’t now.  Frankly, I’ve wondered that myself…”

And so it goes when you have little to do.  Some of those questions (and plenty others) can be found on a website featuring ‘97+ things to say to Siri’.  Some of them are funny.  Some are just sad.  I leave it in your hands if you’d care to pursue it further…

Ok, so….now that ‘we’ have a phone, here’s the deal.  You can call us, we can’t call you….Kind of defeats the purpose, right?  Let me explain…the plan we got allows us unlimited talk in the US and unlimited texts (picture & video) to US and Canada.  We can accept incoming calls from Canada – they just count against our minutes (which are unlimited so, no worries).  If WE call Canada, big ol’ whammo in el pocketbook.  We could have gotten a plan that allows calling to Canada – but it only allows us a discounted rate at a monthly price ($4.99/month to give a rate of $.09/min), NOT unlimited calling.  Frank explained to us that NO company in the US has ‘free’ calling to Canada.

What does that mean for you?  Well, if you don’t have a US/North American long distance plan on your landline/cell phone, you should get one if you want to talk to us, or just eat the cost and call.  Some of you will call so infrequently, it may be cheaper just to eat the cost every now and then.  Others, like our parents, will be calling more frequently (we hope!) and so we would encourage them to look at their long-distance plans.  I think we are looking at perhaps adding a landline when we get cable/internet wiring and that WILL include calling to Canada – if I heard Terri right.  That might be a month down the road though….Until then, this is how it has to be.

Also, because texting to the US from Canada costs money, I would encourage iPhone/Blackberry people to download an app called ‘WhatsApp’.  It allows unlimited FREE texting between smartphones (iPhone to Bberry, iPhone to iPhone, etc).  There is also Skype (for audio and video calls), HeyTell (voice texting!!) and FaceTime. 

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**Stuff Update** - We talked to the moving company on Friday about the arrival of our personal effects.  The date on our contract said on or before October 13^th….ya, they won’t be making that date.  Apparently, there is some kind of driver issue in Chicago??  (What’s that I smell??  Oh yes…bullsh!t…)

That means our stuff won’t be arriving until next Wednesday – at the latest.  Man, it will be nice to sit on something other than the floor or the bed!  Wednesday can’t come soon enough…

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For those wondering…yes, it is still hot here. 

There was a cool breeze last night though.  Chilled us down to about 80-degrees…We could almost open the windows to cool things down…almost.

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Saturday night we will get to experience some of the Miami nightlife!  A girl Terri works with is having her birthday party at a club downtown and so we are getting all dressed up (via shopping tomorrow since our stuff is in Chi-town) and going dancing!  Should be fun.

We’ve also been invited to a Hallowe’en party….on a yacht…on the 27^th!  Why did Natalie Wood just pop into my head??  Terri’s Mom will be arriving that day and so we figured we’d drag her along.

Costume ideas?  I thinking maybe ‘Three Stooges’?  Better yet, three CANADIAN stooges….Curlers?  We’re open to suggestions…

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Interesting sight alert – I tried to get a picture of this last night…

So, we’re sitting at a light last night driving to Verizon…

“What’s that noise?” says Terri.

“I dunno.”

“Sounds like music….is that a ‘Roxette’ song?”

She looks over her shoulder and there is an older dude, on his motorcycle, blasting ‘She’s Got The Look’.

“You’ve gotta see this,” she says to me.

Next thing we know, dude is alongside us, bee-bopping away to ‘She’s Got The Look’ – loud as can be, mouthing the words and just having a good time. 

Good on’ya buddy!!  But, man was that funny.

We followed him for a couple blocks but couldn’t get close enough to snap a photo…The only thing that would have made that better was if he was wearing a motorcycle club patch (a la Sons of Anarchy).

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While we're discussing interesting sights, I almost got to witness some dumbass lose her life in a horrific crash Friday morning.

Let me preface this story by saying that drivers in Miami are ridiculous.  Cutting you off, no signals, barging into the lane, stopping halfway into an intersection…it all happens regularly here.  It is infuriating!!

So, I’m coming back from ‘Turgit’ (miss you Kristen Wiig!) and coming off the Palmetto Expressway, it’s four lane traffic down 74^th Avenue (two in either direction) with a center lane used for turning vehicles only.  I’m in the far right lane and some jackass in an Escalade  (aren’t all Escalade drivers classified this way?) goes speeding by me – as many drivers often do.  Now, this area is somewhat industrial and there are heavy trucks ahead, behind and in the oncoming lanes.

About 100-yards in front of me is one of these semis with his right turn-signal on.  To get ready for the turn, he moves left and straddles our two lanes of traffic.  Escalade Jackass decides she is going to pass the semi by simply going into the centre lane – a turning lane by law – because she is so crafty.

As she is right next to him, semi veers sharply into the center turning lane to make his right-hand turn, driving her into oncoming traffic – oncoming traffic being two semis headed this way.  Escalade Jackass manages to BARELY get across the lanes – avoiding the oncoming semis - and into a small parking lot.

As I’m saying ‘Holy sh!t!’, this lady has likely just taken one….

Now, I’m not sure if the semi did this on purpose, seeing her trying to be all cute with the pass, but if he did, dude is psychotic and semi drivers ain’t to be messed with.  I saw it, I learned from it…  I bet that lady won’t be speeding past any semis anytime soon.  I know I won't be!

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Speaking of death, I’ve found what is going to kill me – in small doses.

I hate you Market Pantry...but I also love you..

Target has these mini chocolate chip cookies that are unreal moist and I swear have some kind of addictive property to them.  Terri and I have polished off two boxes of these bad boys in a week.

My rollerblades cannot arrive soon enough dammit…

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Keeping me occupied these days (some via downloads prior to arriving here)…

-Just finished seasons 1&2 of ‘Downton Abbey’.  What a freakin’ glorious show this is!  If you haven’t seen it, get on it – especially if you like ‘Coronation Street’ and English series of that ilk.  I’m now a big fan of this show – Terri, you were right!

-Got caught up (barring this past week’s episodes) on ‘Sons of Anarchy’ and ‘Boardwalk Empire’.  SOA is unbelievable this season.  Kurt Sutter is hitting it out of the park and I think this season (five episodes in) will be considered the best of all.  I don’t want to spoil it but – wow.  “Boardwalk Empire” is moving a little slow this term…

-“New Girl” picked up right where it left off – hilarity-ville.  Glad to have you back Jess!  There was a pseudo-battle between her and ‘Whitney’ last term on TV.  Glad to see the best girl won…Whitney Cummings, I keep reading you are funny but I have yet to see it in a ‘not sad’ way.

-“Hell On Wheels” was ticking along pretty good but has slowed in recent weeks.  I’m feeling some repetition in some of the story-telling and that is worrisome.  Glad to see the romantic 'will they or won’t they' is now solved, now it’s time for someone big to die or for something significant to happen if you want me back for season three.

-I also sampled ‘Revolution’ and while I love the nonchalant killing NBC is allowing in this show, the story REALLY needs to pick up some steam.  Giancarlo Esposito (formerly Gus Fring on ‘Breaking Bad’) is one of the bad guys and so far he is the only one keeping my attention.  I like the concept, but ‘Lost’ you are not, so stop trying to be.

-I keep hearing (and reading) good things about ‘Star Wars: The Clone Wars’ animated TV series so I bought season 1 and will report back.  As long as George Lucas is kept at a distance, it should be fine.  Speking of Georgie, check this story out…

-And finally…I’ve hyped this on my Facebook every podcast they’ve done…Jay & Dan from TSN.  If you watch ‘Sportscentre’, I implore you to download and listen to this podcast!  It has the same goofy hijinks they have on the air and it is also interesting and topical.  It’s gotten a little ‘blue’ for my taste at times, but is still funny.  Check it out.

-Spanish lessons are coming along...an hour a day so far!  I know some things!!

Bed Done.

A picture is worth a 1000 words (which I've already written)

FINALLY done...

Our Situation Is Far From ‘EL Clasico’

Real's Cristiano Ronaldo (L) v. Barca's Lionel Messi (R)

It’s been a few days since our last blog entry so be prepared – this one is a bit lengthy (lots has gone on…).  It is also a post where you may learn something new, so if you’ve already tapped out your learning for today, STOP READING NOW!  If you haven’t (or you want to continue to push the boundaries of your learning abilities), keep reading…

Let us start with the weekend – and what a weekend it was for soccer (futbol).  You see, every season, there are a number of what are called ‘derby matches’ (‘derby’ being pronounced DAR-bee, not DUR-bee) in the various European leagues.  A derby match is a game between two intense rivals….in the CFL, Wpg/Sask would be a ‘derby game’….NHL, Mtl/Tor would be a ‘derby game’….MLB, Yankees/Red Sox….You get the picture.  Now, imagine each of those games taking place on ONE weekend.  That’s what happened in futbol this past weekend in Europe.  There were huge derby games in France, Italy and Spain – the biggest derby games for each league.  In France that was Marseille versus PSG (Paris St.Germain), in Italy that was AC Milan versus Inter Milan (Milan Derby) and in Spain that is Barcelona versus Real Madrid (El Clasico – and yes, Clasico is spelled with ONE ‘s’). 

It also features two of the best players on the planet - Real's Cristiano Ronaldo and Barcelona's Lionel (LEE-oh-nell) Messi.  Messi is the reigning World Player of the Year, Ronaldo is a former Manchester United star (whom Jeremy has an autographed jersey of in his closet!!).

For Terri and her channel ‘beIN Sport’, this was their biggest weekend to date as they had the TV rights to EACH of those leagues and these derby games.  Because ‘El Clasico’ is considered one of the biggest derby games in the world, they decided to showcase that game – and that meant Terri was studying her butt off for days leading up to Sunday.  She hosted a 50 min pre-game show, did the halftime show and then a quick post wrap-up at the end of El Clasico followed by a show at the end of the evening recapping each of the big games with an analyst.  WOW.  A LOT of work! 

She was great.  There were the expected technical glitches (there always are) but she was fantastic – although she is much harder on herself and will likely not be as agreeable.  I think she did great!  I was invited to beIN to watch the game (since we have no TV or cable at home) and going into it her analyst and I both predicted a 2-2 result…and so it came to pass (she says I cannot call myself a sage – I disagree..).  beIN did a great job of really covering the game – including having reporters at the stadium in Barcelona filing reports.  This is something that has never been done for this kind of broadcast in North America – a reporter at the stadium for El Clasico.  It was an historic day and a LONG day for Terri, but I am so proud of her.

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On the way home from work that day, we stopped at Wendy’s for a bite to eat.  An innocuous occurrence save for the fact that we ordered a medium berry-flavored iced tea with our meal. 

Medium my ass...

Take a look at the photo on the left.  Does that look like a medium drink to you??  This drink was/is HUGE!  And as the other pictures attest, it also didn’t taste very good.  We need to remember that iced tea here in America is actually REAL tea.  Add berry flavoring to that and it tastes like sh!t.  The drink is still sitting in our fridge – Terri refuses to throw it out, preferring to water it down instead.  Yuck.

Jeremy is not a fan of US iced tea...

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Monday was ‘Columbus Day’ here in the United States.  We forgot they choose to celebrate a man considered a mass murderer by many….and it was also Thanksgiving Monday back in Canada.  We started the day by snapping photos of the alligator in the lake behind our house!

 Ok, it’s not a great photo but he is there!  There are signs along the road into our area warning about the gators, but we see ducks on the pond so we were wondering if that sign was there ‘just in case’ versus there actually being a gator.

Nope, there is actually a gator!

So, we will be vigilant when the dogs go outside from now on as we don’t want either of them to become an unwitting snack for our yet unnamed lake-dwelling friend.  (Any suggestions??)  Our back fence actually has a gap big enough for the gator to crawl under (or Jonny) and so we are eager to get that taken care of ASAP – likely with some sandbags or something.

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Monday was also the day we had arranged for the internet guy to come and hook us up – FINALLY.  No more trips to Starbucks to use their wireless network!  We can finally download some TV shows to watch!  YAY!!

Cable guy showed up as scheduled – and much to Terri’s chagrin, it WASN’T Jim Carrey.  He took a look over everything and then gave us the news…in a thick Spanish accent…

“I ave da good nyews and da bad nyews – and da bad nyews is berry, berry bad.”  He says.

“Wonderful,” I say.  “Out with it then.” – Downton Abbey is causing me to use proper English now apparently.

“You ‘ouse is bired for da cable, jess.  But da bad nyews is dat dee box is not ‘ooked to da ‘ouse.”

“Wait a minute.  What?”

“I show you.”

So we proceed outside and he shows me these cables hanging in a loop at the front of the house – along with two grey plastic pipes that are supposed to have cables coming out of it.

"Berry, berry bad nyews"

Then we walk over to an area just off the driveway where there is supposed to be a wee box that is supposed to house the main line for terrestrial cable and internet – and that box is then wired underground (via the red piping you see in the picture) to those two grey pipes coming out at the front of the house – which is then wired to the loop of hanging wire and we’re good.  Got it?

There should be a box over this...

“Your ‘ouse is not ‘ooked up, see?”

“Yes, I see.  Do you mind if I punch you in the face? “

I didn’t say that – but I was thinking it.  Then peeking down the block, I see that every house that has people in it has that little box out front.  So, we send this nice Comcast gent on his way – “Jew call us when de ‘ook up is done, jess?” – and we called our property manager to inform him of the situation.  He will get back to us today apparently.

This is what we want out front of our place...

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After all that, we decide we better call Dish Network and ask if they need that little box in order to hook up a dish.  They don’t because it is a dish – but better safe than surprised, right?

Well, the surprise came when we actually started to sign up and book an appointment….and we’ve encountered this problem trying to get new cellphones….we have no credit in the US.  More specifically, we have no credit history here – and so getting hooked up for these things is ridiculously expensive.  To get a cellphone contract, they want a $500 deposit only refunded at the end of the 2-year contract.  For Dish, we would have to pay $400 to get hooked up – and that’s not refundable!!

Now we’re thinking, how much do we need cable?  Is there another way around this?  The Dish guy suggests waiting for the terrestrial cable to get hooked in and try that as they will likely not be as expensive – but they also do not have the same grade of equipment (PVR’s, HD selections, etc.).  So, we are now giving serious thought to what our alternatives are.  We DO download a bunch of shows and we’re actually thinking what EXACTLY do we watch?  Other than LIVE sporting events, is cable just white noise in the background of our lives while we do other things?  How much of a waste would NOT having cable be when we look at our 51” Plasma TV sitting in the living room (eventually).  Could we buy the TV shows we want on iTunes and watch them through something like Apple TV?  We have some thinking to do…Perhaps once our stuff finally arrives we’ll feel less anxious about it but for now, we have no TV to watch, no furniture to sit on (other than our mattress) and nothing else to do other than read and listen to podcasts when we’re at home.  Naturally, we’ll keep you updated.

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The phone thing is another animal entirely.  Turns out, Rogers cellphone plans are not so bad up there in Canada – when we compare it to what we’re facing down here.

Monday, we visited three different cellphone companies and are stunned at how expensive it is to get a suitable plan – forget the fact we’re Canadians and face the credit/deposit challenge.  Sprint seemed to have the most suitable plan for us economically – but it is still a minimum $100/mth for just ONE iPhone.  If we went with a family plan on TWO iPhones, over $200…and that’s a FAMILY plan.  Individually, it’s even worse!  This allows us limited minutes to call or text back home – and when anyone from home calls us, it uses our minutes….No, that’s ok.  Through AT&T, we’d actually be charged .19/min when someone calls us from Canada!!

We can pay a little extra for unlimited texting to Canada – but overall it ain’t cheap to have a cellphone here.  These companies must be making money hand over fist because every place we went to was jammed with people clamoring for a phone.  I wonder if we should go back to a land line….it’s likely dirt cheap!!

As an aside - we thought maybe we could pay extra for an ‘unlimited’ minutes and data plan – and that would allow us to ‘tether’ our device for internet usage, but cell companies have gotten wise to that and will now NOT allow you to tether – unless you buy a tethering plan, which is ridiculous and capped at 6GB.  We’d burn through that in a week given our download habits.

So, more thinking to do and things to consider…Do they have Vonage down here??

Just re-hashing all this information for the blog is making my head hurt.

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Bed update – We paid a visit to SR today with all pieces in question to physical hold the problem in front of his face.  He is now on the same page as us and I’m thrilled to say he has JUST called us to inform us the correct pieces are ready for us to pick up.  Can it be?  Will be actually be able to sleep in our bed tonight???  Stay tuned, folks!  We’ll let you know for sure.   I cannot WAIT to have this guy in my rearview mirror…Lord forbid he ever steps in front of my car…

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There was one bit of positive news Monday – we decided to take the plunge and learn Spanish.  To do this, we’re taking Rosetta Stone up on their promise of a 92% success rate learning a new language.  We bought a Rosetta Stone Spanish package at the mall and did some of our first lesson Monday night.  It is fun and immersive – they do nothing in English, no translation, nothing.  It immerses you in Spanish and you find yourself memorizing things quickly.  It’s very cool and I think we’re going to enjoy it.  We bought all five levels and by the end of it, we should be conversational and be able to hold our own anywhere….Gosh knows we’ll certainly have plenty of options to practice in the real world!  Everyone here speaks Spanish – including at Terri’s work.  She’ll certainly get practice.

And one thing about Rosetta Stone – they REALLY give you no option but to learn if you are willing.  They have online sessions with a native Spanish speaker, who will ONLY speak Spanish, they allow you to help others learning English and they have apps for iphone and ipad along with mp3 CD’s for the car!!  It’s quite the dealio!!  And it has a 6-month return policy – so I told Terri, if we can learn Spanish in 6 mos, we can return this and get another language if we like!  I’ve always wanted to learn Italian…French…German…Wouldn’t that be something??

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That is all for now!  If you have any ideas to help us through our series of conundrums, feel free to email either one of us!  We’re open to all ideas!

(jrstlouis@gmail.com/terristlouis@gmail.com)

"I have no idea where I am or where we're going"...

Terri will not let Garmin and I be together anymore...

I have spoken this sentence every time Terri forces me to get behind the wheel here in Miami.  For some reason, I am in no hurry to figure out how to get here and how to get there....and I don't know why.  In my youth, I was always eager to figure out everything...where I was, how to get to this or that, but not now.  Perhaps it is the 'old man' in me starting to come out...

"Isn't this the precise reason we got a Garmin, Terri?"

That's usually my follow-up when she tells me I need to learn where we are and where we're going.

Here's my problem....I can't figure out which way is which.  North is not the north I am used to - and as we all know, if you can't find north, you can't find anywhere.  On my way to write this blog I had a slight panic when I went to go onto the turnpike and one side was 'North', one side was 'South'.

"Wait, which way am I going??"

I managed to make the right choice but still....I DO need to get this figured out.  I think part of it has to do with Miami being so big.  I know if I can find out which way the water is, that's east.  From there, south is right, west is behind me, north is to the left, right?  So where's the damn water then?  Part two of the problem is that I also cannot SEE the water.  Perhaps if the Atlantic were visible to me, I'd be finding it easier to adjust.

I KNEW we should have lived on the beach!

Whenever she is in the car, Terri refuses to let me use the Garmin anymore and I am slowly coming around.  It is just familiarity after all right?  Now how do I get home from here....Where's that Garmin....(by the way, our 'house' is not even in the Garmin's maps.  So, technically, I couldn't get home if I was truly lost!!  Another reason to learn how....)

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Sangria Cheers!

Ok, on to other things...Terri and I had our first dinner 'out' last night.  To celebrate our first week in Miami (and because we have no cooking materials) we ventured to Carino's Italian Ristorante and Grill.  A quiet place on a Friday night but it was nice!  We had some decent food (not outstanding, just decent) and we quickly patted ourselves on the back for splitting the meal between the two of us.  Holy hell do they serve big portions here!  No wonder everyone is overweight!  We SPLIT our appy and entree and we STILL left the place stuffed.  We've decided that is now the way to go.  We'll split the meals....otherwise, they'll quickly be widening the doorways on our new home.  :)

I will say this about Carino's - the turtle cheesecake was UN-believable!  We then went home and took the 'kids' for a walk.  I still can't get used to it being 28 degrees at 10:30pm....in October.

Friday night is party night in our neighborhood.  The houses on the other side of the lake like to entertain their friends!!  The street was jammed with cars and the music played well into the night...and why not?  I said if I had a backyard like some of those fine folks, I'd be inviting people over every week as well!!  It is also a cultural thing I believe.  Terri says the hispanic people love to get together often and have fun together.  I've decided we need to get to know some of these people with their gorgeous houses!

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Quick Jonny update....he got his bandages off this morning!  His paws are a mess but he is now bandage free!  He has taken to licking them now that they are opened up and so he continues to be a 'conehead'...though the cone doesn't do the trick as much as we thought.  We'll have to adjust some things there....Doc says his paws look good and in a few days, they will be healed up enough (in the open air) to not worry anymore.  There is a slight chance of infection but Doc believes he'll be fine.

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Another update on the bed....

Slick Rick (SR) called us as we were departing Starbucks Friday and said he would have the parts we need by the end of the day.  YAY!!  With Terri working right near there, she could pick up the parts on the way home....which she did.

And SR was quite proud of himself, making sure Terri acknowledged how he came through for us.

"See?  I told you I'd take care of it!"

(Yeah....if you'd have taken care of it in the first place, you would be in my past SR, not in front of us anymore.)

After we got home and walked the dogs, we went about putting the bed together - finally.

But...the pieces SR got for us are too small to fit over the ends of the slats....They won't work...

"Are you f@ckin' kidding me?" Terri says.

She texts SR immediately and gets no reply.  I called SR this morning and I could hear the disappointment in his voice - just as I'm sure he could hear the disdain for him in mine.

"Well, the warehouse is closed for the weekend so I can't do anything until Monday."  He says.

"You think Monday is the day you'll finally be able to do something hey?"  I said cheekily - alluding perhaps only to myself that the guy has been utterly useless so far....

"Yes.  Call me Monday.  Oh, but wait...can you first return those pieces to me and I will get the new ones."

"Umm no Rick.  You get the pieces I need and I'll get these to you.  We're not making another trip to see you until you have the pieces we need, got it?"

"Yes sir."

No apology, no 'I'll break into the warehouse right now to get them'...nothing.  This place is a gong show...Wait, I'm old enough to remember 'The Gong Show'...this operation is worse than that when I think about it...

The saga continues...as does us feeling like squatters in our own home.

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And lastly, Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!  With all the stuff going on the past few weeks, we haven't even had time to think about the Canadian tradition.  We hope all of you who are reading this have some time this weekend to spend with family and the ones you love - and be thankful for all the wonderful things you have in your life....

Terri and I most certainly are.

Yes, we are 2,300 miles away, but we don't feel that far thanks to the blogging, the Facebooking and the texting.  As much as I wonder if we're better off with all this technology sometimes - being able to be reached at a moments notice - I can now say we are, especially for those at a great distance from loved ones.  We are thankful for all the support you have all given us and all the wonderful messages you have sent.

We miss you as much as you miss us, I'm sure of it!  But, as has been said down the ages, better to miss someone than not have someone to miss at all!

Keep those emails and messages coming!  And be sure to raise a glass in our honor when you gather to feast this weekend (and have some pumpkin pie for me!).

The Role Of Squatters Will Be Played By....

This post comes to you directly from the Starbucks on Doral Blvd!

After being evicted from our hotel (I exaggerate, our time was up there), we have settled into our new home....as squatters.  You see, all we have are a couple of suitcases and a mostly put-together bed (I'll get to that fiasco shortly) along with some plastic utensils, plastic cups and paper plates....and food.

Terri has OWNED the Target near work and has done her best to provide the essential nutrients we now need to survive.  I've provided the TV, PS3 and games that give (me) entertainment.  It's quite hilarious....but the dogs love it.

So, the bed....what a mess.  A few weeks ago, on one of her many trips here, Terri found a 1/2 price mattress shop and decided to have a peek.  She left with a King size platform bed complete with memory foam mattress - no box spring, just memory foam.  Great!  And it was cheap (mennonites rejoice!!).  The best part though was the salesman assured her the bed would be here and ready for delivery October 1st.

It wasn't.

Instead, we get a call telling us the bed won't be here until next week (Oct. 8th-ish) so we have no bed to sleep on....BUT, the warehouse does have ANOTHER bed we can have, higher price and it is available for delivery immediately.  After much bitching and complaining (by me of course), we decide to go with this 'replacement' bed and pay the extra cost (but it's still very cheap I am told).  So, the day we got the keys (and provided a video tour), our bed was delivered in boxes for us to put together.  Great!  We can do that Thursday...

After we got settled on Thursday morning, Terri went to work and I decided to tackle the bed.  You know what?  It's a nice looking bed (frame)!  Heavy, dark wood, nice headboard....But guess what?  It's missing the most essential pieces to put the base down for the mattress.  This base is a series of 28 boards that have plastic clips that lock into each side of the bed - and then lock together in the middle of the bed.  The plastic joiners that lock the slats together are missing.  I promptly call the mattress salesman we've been dealing with (Rick...or 'Slick Rick' as I refer to him...) and I tell him my predicament.  His reply?

"But it sure is a nice bed though hey?"

Rick is now at the very top of my 'idiot's list'.

Rick is going to do some checking for me and get back to me.  He calls me 15 minutes later and says it will take a week to 10 days to get the pieces we need as they have to be ordered from California.

"Can you not just take the pieces from a similar bed in your local warehouse?"

"We used to do that but we now have a policy that won't allow us to," Rick says.

"So, at this rate Rick, we could just have waited and gotten our ORIGINALLY ordered bed because it is now going to beat the parts we need to Miami, right?"

"It appears so Sir..."

"Awesome.  Thanks Rick.  This has been a tremendous buying experience for me." I exclaim.

Rick tells me he is going to do some checking around and try to get us the pieces we need ASAP.  I have yet to hear back from Rick.  I'll tell you this....this bed better give me the most restful sleep of my life for the pain in the ass it has become!!  :)

So yes....the picture below....mostly put together bed and the memory foam mattress which we have laid next to it and are now sleeping on.  We are squatters...Cannot WAIT for our stuff to get here.  Anyone taking bets on whether our stuff beats the parts we need for the bed??

Another thing we've discovered...well, not discovered, we were warned about it....there ARE ants everywhere!!  That will not do for Terence....she ski-daddled off to Lowes in a NY minute and grabbed some high-end Raid bug barrier and sprayed the crap out of the affected areas.  It reminded us of our first stay at El Dorado in Mexico.  We had tons of ants there too...Same thing.  We'll get it under control.  I cannot seem to convince the dogs that ants are good food though...They just sniff them and then bugger off.

Speaking of the dogs, as mentioned, we think they are both happier here than at the hotel.  They now have lots of room to roam and explore.  They realize their backyard is MUCH smaller but once we get the grass trimmed and settle in with our stuff, I think they'll like it even more.  Jonny has been Mr. Grumpy with his bandages on...Seriously, every time we touch him, he growls.  I can partially understand his anger at us....We take him in tomorrow morning to get his bandages off and see where his paws are at.  He is a little more playful so we think he's healing up ok.  Good news on that front - after emailing the groomer that didn't cut his claws as they should have, they emailed us, offered their sincere apologies and offered to cover almost half the vet bill.  They admitted their mistake and we appreciate that.

We took both pups for a stroll last night around the neighborhood - and just to get the lay of the land.  Holy cow are there some nice houses in our area!  Nothing really huge but so many nice trees, plants and yards!  On the other side of our lake, we can see some of the yards with fully covered bbq's and wet bars, straw covered pagodas....VERY impressive!  One house even has a dock with a sitting area on the edge of the yard!  Posh.  It is a gorgeous area!  Now if we only knew Spanish we could communicate with our neighbors....

We are looking at buying that Rosetta Stone package to learn...My birthday is coming up (Oct. 22!!) so if you need hints anyone...$$ towards that purchase would be wonderful!!  (Or Indiana Jones collection on Blu-Ray - but coordinate with Terri on that one...)

Ok, our time at Starbucks is almost up....Terri is off to work, I am off to continue squatting....and watching seasons 1&2 of 'Downton Abbey'.  Sweet deal at Target...BOTH season 1&2 on Blu-ray for $35!!!  Done and done....and you know what?  It is a wonderful series.  If you get the chance to start watching it, do it.  It makes me long for a simpler time when people had manners and etiquette was most important.  Loving it!

We'll try to check-in again in a couple of days...we get internet on Monday and then we'll be halfway to being re-connected with the outside world....though being disconnected hasn't been all that bad.  It's peaceful in a way....

Miss you all!

Oh and for our friends in the snowstorm....check this out - the temp from our dashboard info centre while driving around the other day....

Don't hate us because it's beautiful here.

The Lady Is A Tramp

Woe is me...

What.  A.  Day.

Today’s blog post is full of all kinds of genres, including action/adventure, drama, comedy, and even a little XXX!  Oh just you wait... let us fill you in!

Our day started like any ol’ day…. We slept in.  Then we laid in bed for a little while longer.  Pretty boring… and pretty glorious not having to rely on an alarm for the time being!  We did have a bunch to accomplish today, so we eventually got to it.

We hope you enjoyed the video tour of our place!  We move in on Friday, which means we leave our plushy little hotel complete with wifi and cable and swap it for an empty house with a bed and ourselves.  Our moving company will only be here later next week with all of our furniture and belongings, so we’ll be ‘bare bones’ until then.  This means we won’t have a TV to watch for about a week (noooooo!!!  J)

Jeremy did a pile of research into various internet providers in South Florida.  What we’ve discovered is that the house we are renting is in an area of Doral that is so very new, that there are not a lot of cable or internet options available to us there at the moment.  But, Jer did manage to find us something and we will have it installed on Monday.  So this means we’ll be completely disconnected with the world this weekend, besides the use of a single flip-style cell phone.  What on earth will we do with ourselves???  I should clarify and say Jeremy will be disconnected from the world as I will be working this weekend and will be swimming in a sea of television and internet.

Our community is so new, we discovered we won’t actually have mailboxes for the next 1-2 months… so my job today was to go acquire a PO Box to rent and forward our mail.  Check!  Done and done.

Little did I know, my day was about to get much, much more interesting.

We discovered Jonny was licking his left paw a lot and upon investigation a piece of his du-claw (for non-dog people, this is like his thumbnail) had been torn, we expect while he was playing.  He is constantly running around, playing with his toys.  We also realized at this point that his du-claws (on both paws) were abnormally long, which we hadn’t before noticed.  Jonny goes to the groomer every month or so, and his nails are trimmed each time.  Apparently, his du-claws had been skipped without our knowledge and had overgrown without us noticing… obviously we are having some mixed emotions here… a little bit of anger and a little bit of guilt at this point.  Especially when we had to bring Jonny to the vet today.

Now those are true puppy-dog eyes...

Jonny and I went to see Dr. Tom Campbell at Animal General Hospital.  He examined Jonny’s paws and discovered that not one, but both of his du-claws were cracked… and torn to the point that they had to put him under, cut back the claws, medicate and wrap his paws.  As any dog-parent can appreciate, I was devastated that my precious boy had to go through the fear and pain of a minor surgery.   Super thankful it wasn’t any worse, though.  So is my wallet.

The ride back to the hotel was adventurous; Jonny was beside himself in the car, wondering what these bandages were on his paws.  He couldn’t get comfortable and kept wandering the car, whining the whole time.  It was pouring rain and I couldn’t get Dr. Campbell’s warning out of my head that the anesthetic could upset Jonny’s stomach.   As I was making my way through the downpour, 4 blocks from the hotel, 3 blocks, 2… I kept willing Jonny, pleading with him to ‘hold it’ until we got back.  If only you could reason with a dog!  I pulled up to the hotel, parked the car, got Jonny’s leash attached and just as I was reaching for the car door handle, Jonny decided he couldn’t ‘hold it’ any longer… and projectile vomited all over my lap and driver’s seat.

Three more seconds.  That’s all I needed. 

It is very safe to assume Jonny and I returned to our hotel room, both in a very bad mood.  Grumpy-pants Jonny went straight to his kennel like a teenager stomps off to his room, slams his door and secretly loathes his parents for all the wrongs in his life.  Meanwhile, I put a clean pair of pants on and set out to clean up the mess in the car.  Once that was done, I also set out to find a pet store where I could find an upholstery cleaner as well as a ‘head cone’ for Jonny as he couldn’t stop licking and biting and licking his bandages.  And if he wasn’t angry at the world before, boy is he pissed off with that cone on!

"I hate you right now"

His bandages come off on Saturday, so he’ll have a few uncomfortable cone-wearing days ahead of him but, like I mentioned before, it could be worse.

Ready for the XXX part of the day?  Are you sure??

With Jonny’s lame state, Frankie started displaying some odd behaviors.  First, she was very nosy, wanting to sniff Jonny’s paws, figure out where he had been and why.  Then, it appeared she wanted to play, she kept pawing at him… but what happened next, neither Jeremy nor I would have ever predicted --

Frankie mounted Jonny.

Ummm, Frankie doesn’t have those parts.  Frankie isn’t even a boy!  And poor little injured and emotionally scarred Jonny couldn’t even fend for himself, he just took it like a champ until we scolded Frankie and stopped that ‘business’ from going any further (after getting some pictures and laughing…quietly).  Needless to say, we were shocked!  And slightly disturbed that ‘our girl’ was so very…physical!  We did some quick research and discovered Frankie’s behavior was a sign of dominance.  While I was out getting his cone, Jeremy said Jonny growled at Frankie every time she approached.  Obviously, Frankie was simply letting him know, hurt or not, she was still the boss of this…ummm…hotel room.

I think we handled it well regardless and we’ve been continually chasing Frankie away from Jonny all evening long.

Jeremy reasoning with Frankie about her sassy ways

What a day….we’ll be laughing about this one for a while!!

Welcome Home! **VIDEO**

Funny-Looking-Duck-Crossing in our community in Doral

Today, we received the keys to our new home in Doral, FL!

We decided the best way to share this experience with you would be to give you a video tour of the place.

There are selfish reasons for doing this, just so you know.  By 'taking the tour', you can decide for yourself the level of awesome it is, and from there you can informatively plan for your stay with us in the very near future.  Right?  Riiiight???

To preface this video tour, I'd just like to mention, I had just finished running through the pouring rain to the car where we forgot our phone, hence the hair disaster you see below.  One of many expected hair disasters while we live here in South Florida, as it is common to be caught in a downpour at some point throughout the day.

Enjoy!

PS - lots of water fowl in the community as there are lakes (like the one behind our house) everywhere... so caution when driving is a must!  Wait, caution while driving is always a must, isn't it...