"You Have Chosen....Poorly..."

I forsee a bad meal in our future...

Anyone who has seen “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” will likely know the quote above – and may even follow it up with (in a scruffy old person’s voice - if you’re an Indy nerd like me..)  “You have chosen…wisely…but the grail cannot pass beyond the great shield.  That is the boundary…and the price of immortality.”

Ya, 90% of you aren’t going that deep…and if you haven’t seen ‘Last Crusade’, get with the program because if I find out, friendships will be tested…  ☺

The title of the blog refers to our dining experience on Wednesday night.  When Terri’s Momz was here (gettin’ gangsta up in this maaa) we went down to a place in Miami called Lincoln Road.  It is a street mall in Miami Beach and it is a wonderful little spot – and it has one of the swankiest parkades you’ll ever be in….I felt a tinge guilty parking the Mazda there amongst the BMW/Mercedes and Audis.  Anyways, we had a wonderful dinner at a restaurant called Van Dyke’s – but there are a ton of little places where you can eat, drink and be merry.  So, Wednesday night we ventured down there to have a further look at the shops and restaurants with a mind to having a decent meal.

When Wendy was here, we trotted about 3-4 blocks down Lincoln before finally deciding on Van Dyke’s.  Wednesday we went a little further before eventually deciding to try ‘Dal Toro’, in part largely because of the large colored ‘orbs’ that adorned many of the tables.  As you can see by the pictures, we had some fun with said orbs.

It's like looking over a planet!

We were both set for some dessert later on so we decided against having an appetizer and went straight for the main course….after some drinks.  I say ‘some’ because more than one was made (but not consumed).  Our first order consisted of me asking the waitress if the bartender knew how to make a ‘caesar’.  She trotted off to ask the bartender and came back moments later with an enthusiastic “Yes, yes he can!”

“Excellent.  We’ll have two of those!!”

When the drinks arrive, we smile, take a taste and quickly realize these are not quite the caesar’s we are used to.  In fact, they are likely caesar’s that NO ONE is used to and when the waitress comes back, we inform her they just are undrinkable.  You see, the caesar was made with tomato juice, some sort of lemon and then no Worcestershire/Tabasco thrown in….and no celery salt on the rim (it DID have a stalk of celery though!).

The waitress graciously offered to make us another couple of drinks.  “Ok, we’ll stay safe here…one black Russian, one white Russian.”  Off she goes and we chuckle to ourselves and politely remind each other we are not in Canada anymore.  A few minutes later, the waitress returns with the bartender’s smartphone and asks me to verify that he was indeed making the right drink…The drink on the screen was called a ‘Scissor’, not ‘Caesar’.  I laughed and found the right drink in his drinks app and she said he was determined to get it right.  I offered to jump behind the bar to show him but she politely declined my request.

It's a VERY creamy White Russian.

When she returned with our latest drink order, we got another surprise.  Terri’s white Russian was made with pure cream….and no Kahlua….essentially vodka and cream.  Man, was THAT disgusting!  Our poor waitress comes to check on us again and we place our orders for dinner – a Chicken Caesar salad for Jer and some Tortiglioni Rustici pasta for Terri.  Oh, Terri also asked her to bring small shot of coffee liqueur to put into her white Russian.

Off she went…

Once Terri got her coffee liqueur, we attempted to soak up the atmosphere of Lincoln Road.  On this night, a new H&M store was opening down the block the next day so we were treated to lots of fancily dressed boys and girls who were off to the soft opening on Wednesday.

Our food was made remarkably quick and we were happy to chow down on what we expected to be a good little meal – after all, Dal Toro received 5-stars on Urban Spoon….The disappointment continued.  My chicken caesar salad was soggy and the chicken was hard and overcooked.  Not to mention the caesar dressing tasted very little like Caesar dressing, there was no lemon and it had more croutons than lettuce leaves – seriously.  Terri’s pasta though was excellent – save for the fact the noodles weren’t done and it was a bit ‘chewy’.  We sighed and both agreed this was a wonderful learning experience for us….one place we can scratch off the list when it comes to eating out on Lincoln Road.  Turns out the best part about the place was the colorful orbs.

Our waitress, bless her heart, did her best and I’m sure was happy to see the back of us when we departed.

However, the best part of our evening was yet to come….

He doesn't have alien eyes...

As we were preparing to leave, a tall, scruffy looking gentleman – obviously an unemployed student of some sort – stopped just off our table and began feverishly drawing Terri.  We were both kind of taken aback and Terri attempted to warn him off (because we weren’t interested in paying for unsolicited art) but he said “No, no…no money….” And kept going.  I chuckled as we awkwardly sat there…

“I’m going to draw you too boss…” he said as he quickly looked at me then down at his canvas.  “But, without your glasses on….I’m also going to put a cigar in your mouth.”

To which I replied….”Not really a smoker but ok…As long as it’s not a penis, we’re good, man.”
(I used the slang term in reality but my mom’s read this so..)

Jafarhi then proceeded to tell us he was a student who had just moved here to pursue an art career and before attending school in January, he was opening his own business.

“Good for you.” We both said….He finished up, signed our drawing and proceeded to tell us that one day, that signature may be worth a lot of money....and then as he handed us the drawing (a drawing done in pen I might add), Terri handed him $3 with an apology that she didn’t have more.  As you look at the picture of said drawing below…is it really worth more?

"Crappy Dinner At Dal Toro" - by Jafarhi

As we parted ways with Jafarhi, we both smiled at each other and decided the evening was not a total loss because we now have a wonderful story to share with you!  And as we walked towards the place we were eyeing up for dessert, we were quickly informed that it was now closed and we were out of luck.

It was 10pm.

We went home and were both asleep just after 11pm.

Oh what a night….